You Can’t Always Find The Words Alone

There is pressure to arrive with the finished thought, already shaped so it makes sense to others.

It’s something we live with every day now. Answers arrive quickly from our prompts, we get sharper responses and we repeat the process.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, it’s useful and gives us time back and can help us see structure and make a starting point feel less intimidating.

There is a difference between finding an answer and gaining a better understanding.

Sometimes you don’t need to search for another answer, you need another perspective. 

Over the past few weeks, I have been trying to explain what You Are The Media means now.

It hadn’t lost its way, but it needed clarity as it has grown. In terms of subscribers, event attendees and location coverage.

YATM started in 2013 as a weekly newsletter built on a simple belief: you don’t have to wait to be chosen.

You don’t need someone else to publish you, promote you, validate you or tell you it’s your turn. You can build your own voice, audience and relationships through the trust you create over time.

That still matters, probably more than ever.

Over the years, YATM became more than a newsletter. There are Lunch Clubs, Creator Day and YATM Club. There are friendships, collaborations, shared tables, sea swims, ongoing conversations and moments where people feel more confident because they are not alone.

I knew what it felt like when so much is on your shoulders, when you want to start something new or step up, no one else is there for you.

What I was missing was not the feeling. It was the explanation.

There is a point in any piece of work where the words you have used for years start to feel too small, or maybe they just don’t fit anymore. 

Maybe the people around it have changed, or the value has become clearer than the explanation.

That doesn’t mean your work is broken, it just means the old language can no longer carry the full weight of what it has become.

That is where I found myself. The words I used to describe did not fully explain the role YATM provides for people.  

When you are close to your own work, meaning can feel obvious before it is obvious to anyone else. You are the person who puts in the work, who knows the people and can talk about the back story.

Other people only have the words you give them. If those words are unclear, they can’t see what you see.

It is much easier to tell yourself that people will understand and it will all click, once they have experienced it. I have learned that if people have to experience before they understand it, then you are not clear enough.

What helped most was not treating this as a solo challenge or trying to force a stronger sentence.

I had to let people into the problem. For instance, we have a monthly session called Sense Check in YATM Club and the first session after Creator Day I shared that YATM doesn’t feel like a place for misfits anymore. People were there for each other and everyone made the occasion special. It was the wrong terminology.

From there, it meant I could keep asking questions. You can read more from last week’s article. 

This part was uncomfortable for me because I had ideas that didn’t always match what other people heard. When someone questions your language, it can feel like they are questioning the work itself. No one enjoys hearing, “I don’t understand.”

A good question doesn’t always give you the answer, but it can show you where the answer is hiding.

For years, I have said that You Are The Media is about not waiting to be chosen. I now see another layer. 

You don’t have to build your voice, your ideas, your audience, your confidence on your own. You don’t have to build a business with no one on your side. 

That is what I hadn’t explained clearly enough. Our strongest work is often shaped by the people around it.

People help you see what you are too close to see. They ask questions you would not ask yourself and they help you stay with your efforts long enough for it to become clear. 

The people around your work become part of the work.

It is easy to see other people as the audience, the customers, the subscribers, the members or the people you hope will pay attention.

But when people are close enough to question, encourage, reflect and participate, they do more than receive the work. They help shape it.

Eventually, the words that came through were simple, More Together.

It helped to explain why the newsletter, Lunch Clubs, Creator Day and the Club all felt like parts of the same thing.

At first, I thought that phrase was a way to explain YATM. It’s a well-worn path to invent a positioning statement that makes sense, where you do the majority of the work.

More Together emerged from the work in the build-up and the questions and discussions with other people. It took over a month to get there, and in today’s standards, that is at a snail’s pace. 

The clearest ideas rarely arrive fully formed. They often emerge through conversation, challenges, tweaking, trust and shared experience.

You might be trying to rewrite your About page, explain your offer, name a new project or describe what your business has become.

It is tempting to think the answer is to stay with it alone for longer.

Sometimes what you are trying to understand cannot be found only by looking inward. Or if all your answers come from a tool, your work becomes a version of what already exists.

You may need other people to show you what they see. You have to ask what feels unclear, what they notice or what you work on gives them.

You do not have to accept every opinion, but you do have to be willing to listen for the truth that your own assumptions might be hiding.

Looking back, I don’t think I was trying to find a better way to explain You Are The Media.

I was trying to understand what it had become. The understanding didn’t arrive because I thought harder. It arrived because other people thought with me. You can’t ignore the people around you. They may be the ones helping your work become clearer.