How To Build Stronger Connection With Proven Routines

Finding routines allows people to come together and take part.

When you open up the door with the intention for people to participate, it magnifies your efforts. 

Why not make something where people can join in with you and know when it’s going to happen?

This article is about finding a habit, where it’s not all on your shoulders, but a collective approach.

A lot of the time we’re told to be consistent. This encourages us to find momentum and persistence in our creation efforts. This could be a newsletter you promise to send on a specific day. It could be a podcast that you release at the same time without fail. It could be a blog article you publish on an agreed date.

Consistency though means the responsibility is all on you. You have to find that pulse with the promise you make to others. You are the person continually pushing your work to be seen, read and heard.

Why not flip that where you find a routine, where others can join in. 

People can’t participate in consistency, but they can join in with routines.

Routine can be a collective effort, not a singular drive for regularity. 

When you do things with the people who are on your side, everyone takes so much from it. However, business isn’t normally that way.

For example, throughout most of your week, you receive emails from people, you don’t want to receive e-mails from. This is because it’s someone else’s job. They think by sending emails to you, they can make money from you. What if they treated it as though it was going to be about you and not all about them?

This is what finding a routine with others means. It’s where you know that repetition and habit are better with your involvement. When enough people care, you can start to make a change. 

In this article the idea of subcultures takes centre stage, “It’s about feeling like you’re part of something new and special and amazing that no one else is a part of — like you’re at the center of the world, where the future is being created, and that you and your chosen band of companions are the people who get to create it.”

The routine you create for others means that everyone benefits.

It’s collective consistency that enables you to move the needle. Let me highlight some examples where it’s not all on me, but the presence of others that elevates the whole practice.

Accountability Sessions – Every Thursday morning in the YATM Club (9.15am to 11.15am), we come together to work. For people who work on their own for a large part of their week, this is an invaluable space to feel like you are in an office with friends. We share what we are going to work on, this becomes our promise to the group and we check back in for a break at 10am and then have a second part to continue our work.

Sea Swimming Every Friday – We follow the clock around the year and head to the beach for sunrise. We have kept this going every Friday since July 2021. From the bitterness of winter to the longer summer swims, it’s routine that is important. The group knows when it’s happening and the promise we make to each other, that we’ll be there!

Friday Campfires – Every Friday at 5pm GMT we close the week in the YATM Club. It’s our way for a friendly close to the week. No agenda, no work topic, just a ‘see you soon.’ It’s the routine that’s important as the way to be the last activity of the working week before people log off. It started a few minutes later recently (someone always has to be the first to log on) and was noticed by the group. I find the campfires as a way to reconnect and know that others are there every week.

Here is how to make the routine a collective effort, not a singular drive for regularity.

Find what can bind people, not distance them.

What keeps people away is when it’s all about you (such as a webinar where people know the punchline is on what you want to sell). How can you turn a routine into a benefit for others, not just yourself ie. development, connection, ideas, action. 

Make a day of the week, your day, when activity happens. 

For the most part, Thursday is YATM day. It started as the day for the newsletter in 2013 and then became the day to bring people together, from the Lunch Club events (that started in 2016) to the Creator Day. Routine starts from sticking with something and then finding ways to bind together. 

Make entry levels low to join in. 

Knowing the steps to join in are simple and people know what to expect, which helps to form commitment. For instance, to receive the weekly newsletter people just need to leave their email address. For people to join the Accountability Session they just need to be in the YATM Club and tick a box in the events section. For people to join in for the Friday swimming, they just need to join a WhatsApp Group (so everyone goes in at the same time and not alone). Joining in has to be easy. 

Encourage people to know each other. 

When you look around and see others in the same space, it feels reassuring. It’s not just you, it’s you with others. When there are moments to connect online, there should also be ways to make that happen in real life. 

Make the routine worthwhile, so it continues. 

People need to feel the time they spend with the activity is worthwhile, so they look forward to the next session. Collective routines work because of repetition. This also validates the activity, rather than starting something for the interest and motivation to wane.

Decide the right frequency.

Break down your actions into what feels right for you and others. Daily might be too much of an ask when it comes to others, but weekly and even bi-monthly (this is for our Bristol events) can become comfortable. Commit to something you know is manageable and can grow organically. Also, be mindful that too much can be weary for others.

Co-create with those who step up.

Those who are highly invested can become the best people to start new routines, listen to them and look at ways to progress ideas. These are the people who become community leaders who ensure the torch is handed over to others.

Routines have to be fun. 

The enjoyment, companionship and value people take are what keeps the heartbeat. It can all connect to a commercial perspective. Work shouldn’t always feel like work!

Joining in with routines allows you to keep activity constant.

Collective consistency means that it is the involvement that pushes and motivates each other. This could be to encourage a new action (I bet the people who go in the sea in winter, never thought they could!) or to celebrate each other’s successes.

Discovering a routine for people to join in does take away the obligation for you to always lead. It’s about opening the door and letting others feel a part and to process.

What you are doing is switching from making it all about you to being about the group where everyone can win from riding that crest of the wave. 

Find your companions and create for those who get it. Camaraderie and unity have never been more important.