How To Get People On Your Side, Without Always Relying On Social Media

You don’t have to play the continual tune of the algorithm. The constant pressure to post more, be consistent, and just keep up can become exhausting.

The anonymous audiences we aim to reach often aren’t there when we need them most.

But if attention is everywhere, allegiance is rare.

Whether you’re building your brand, running a side project, or simply trying to gain traction for the work you care about, what truly matters isn’t reaching more people, it’s encouraging the right people to care and participate.

If you want to build something meaningful, focus beyond just reach and attention. You must create opportunities for people to join in with you.

Let me unpack how to get people genuinely invested in what you do, not because you gamed the system, but because you created something worth standing alongside.

Before someone stands beside you, they have to know where you stand.

That’s why shared spaces matter more than ever in 2025. We’re flooded with content, but starved of connection. People want real places where they can meet others, feel understood, and participate, not just scroll and “like.”

Introducing live events for people to come together has been pivotal for YATM. It’s a place to go to with other people that is away from a screen. Over the years, the concept has evolved, becoming more thoughtfully curated. People are looking for experiences that validate their time away from work and make them feel like they belong.

A shared room creates a shared stake. When someone shows up physically, they’re more than an attendee, they become part of the whole narrative.

My advice is you don’t need to aim for a conference. Start a meetup. Host a small dinner. Be consistent. Be available. Find ways to always be you.

There’s nothing wrong with being introduced through someone else’s audience. In fact, it’s how most meaningful relationships begin.

Call it borrowed trust: when someone credible shares their spotlight and brings others into it.

This could mean:

The point is this: people don’t trust strangers. But they do trust people they already believe in or someone who has said, ‘this person is great’. When you’re associated with someone respected, it lowers the risks.

Over time, that borrowed trust becomes earned trust. And earned trust becomes community.

When someone vouches for you, their audience listens. That’s not luck. That’s leverage.

Edelman’s Trust Barometer each year reveals a powerful truth: people trust people like themselves more than any brand, business, or media outlet.

Everyday we see and hear polished brand voices, AI-generated content, and curated personas, what cuts through is human consistency. People want to know who you are, what you stand for, and if you’re still around when the spotlight fades.

That’s why trust is built through patterns:

No elaborate funnel or viral post can fake that.

Over the years, I have learned the hard way and the good way. The Thursday newsletter drops at 6am, rain or shine (except for four weeks off per year). It’s a pattern people trust. That kind of reliability says more than any paid ad ever could.

At You Are The Media, we’ve put this into practice for years.

Getting people on your side isn’t theoretical, it’s something we live and breathe. 

From the weekly Thursday newsletter that’s gone out since 2013, to our Lunch Clubs and Creator Day, everything is rooted in participation, not performance.

Last week in London, we hosted our second YATM Lunch Club at FOUNDRY in Wandsworth. Hosted by Catherine Turner and Jon Burkhart, we brought together people for the theme on personal brand. What has happened is Lunch Club format can now progress into other locations. London was our way to prove it.

What made it work wasn’t a grand production. It was that people leaned in. They showed up. They listened. They shared. They got to know each other better. These are the kinds of spaces where you don’t just promote yourself, you become part of something others want to help shape.

Whether it’s through small gatherings, bigger moments to bring people together, or weekly ideas  that respects the reader’s time, the goal is the same: make people feel like they belong, not just that they’re being marketed to.

If your message is “Here’s what I want,” it’s a tough sell. If your message is “Here’s what we could do,” people feel more compelled to join in.

Other people get on your side when they feel like your story reflects their own. That means your message has to make room for them, not just spotlight you.

Want to make it easier for people to care? Ask yourself:

The messages that stick aren’t always the smartest. They’re the ones that hit home because they feel like home.

One of the greatest myths in marketing is that bigger is better.

Progress doesn’t start by constantly chasing large numbers. They started with tens. With a handful of people who saw something and said, “I’m in.”

Trying to win everyone makes you bland. Trying to serve the right people helps you figure out together.

At YATM, we’ve embraced this over the years. Today we are the home for marketing misfits. The goal isn’t mass appeal, it’s not for everyone. It’s about alignment. You don’t need tens of thousands of people to make a difference. You just need to connect with people who share your energy, your values, your belief in what’s possible.

And here’s the key: those people are already out there, you just need to head out and find them.

Then you give them a place to where they feel a part of and feel seen.

This isn’t about tactics. It’s about turning strangers into supporters, and supporters into participants.

Getting people on your side doesn’t mean convincing them. It means including them.

You don’t need to be louder. You need to be clearer.

You don’t need to be liked by everyone. You need to go deeper.

You don’t need everyone. You need the right few, moving in the same direction.

And they’re far more likely to join you when you step out from behind the screen.

You don’t win people over by broadcasting louder, you build something they want to belong to, then open the door and let them walk in.