Harnessing The Strength Of Supportive People
Being with the people who support you, elevates everything you do.
This is a completely different place when you are on a knife edge when a lot feels unreliable.
It doesn’t make sense to give a lot of energy and effort when you won’t get anything back. That’s something I was all too familiar with.
This article is about shifting your energy from strangers to allies.
Instead of exhausting efforts on unreciprocated relationships, embrace the impact of positive companions.
When Nothing Is Reciprocated, It’s Isolating
One of the reasons I started YATM was a way to find other people who would want to join in with me.
I was spending a lot of time, money, effort and energy on others where nothing was reciprocated.
Let me share this example. I once paid a friend to make cupcakes with my company logo on and would hand-deliver 50 cakes to prospects. Inside the box was a letter that was promoting the business and to reach out to ask for some time. What I realised was that people were more interested in free food than spending time with a stranger.
This kept on repeating itself when I wasn’t too familiar with businesses and just kept on slogging away where nothing felt mutual. On another occasion, I even produced an ebook where I asked business owners to share advice with their younger selves, but few bonds or connections came from it.
This is what it looked like…
It is demoralising when you try to grow around unresourceful people, or when nothing progresses from a ‘let’s chat’.
One of the reasons for YATM was asking myself, how can I create something where I could be with the people I wanted to be with.
Today, I have made sure I created a space where I can reach out to others and they know they feel a part of something with a team around them. I’d like to think that others feel that too.
Here is what Natalia DaCosta shared, who was a recent YATM Takeover (someone from the community starts the newsletter every Thursday). Natalia said, ‘The thing about having a great community around you, is that they can hold you accountable by modelling great behaviour.’
The people you spend time with have a huge influence on your actions, thoughts and actions.
We do the work to be around the right people
Sometimes we forget that the reason we create is not just to convince others that we are the best choice, but to send the right signals, so the right people want to be with you. It’s how we all connect.
Over time you recognise that it’s the people you surround yourself with, has a greater influence on you, than your hold over your audience. That means you are all motivated to make a difference and experience the highs and lows together. What matters is that you keep on showing up, together.
This is a much healthier and fun place, where you’re acknowledged and you give the nod to others. If it’s not working for you at the moment, you can shift with an exchange of energy, ideas and relationships.
How it works to start to surround yourself with the right people
From all the effort and time I invested for nothing being reciprocal to a place where there is an abundance of team spirit, this is what I would do differently today. It’s about getting a head start, so you minimise wastage and despondency.
Find the space to be curious about.
When you have an overall theme to your work, it becomes easier for others to make that association. If you have a topic you become dedicated to and preoccupied with, what happens is that you start to paint a vision for something better. The end result is that the audience will come to you. The problem when I started was that I was sporadic, cupcakes and ebooks whilst involved time, didn’t allow others to understand or find a thread, beyond a website. What is it that you can’t stop, or even become fixated by? Whose work inspires you? Business, art, music, it all matters.
Come up with ideas.
From a central theme, it helps to connect by answering your own questions and being creative with your output. What you start to do is help other people figure out too. It’s similar to lighting a match. The whole point of the match is to ignite something and the fire to keep burning. What you can’t do is just hold the match, look at it and it fizzles out (and burns you).
Start bringing more of you into your work.
From sharing your own perspective, experience and worldview, you start to carve your own place where people begin to recognise your approach. Over time, you start to become more confident in opening up and sharing. It all comes from the curiosity spark you lit previously.
Share with people you like.
Over time you start to find patterns. This could be subscribers who are more willing to leave comments on a LinkedIn post, or a subscriber who commits to attending an event. Do more with them and find ways to interact that are in a genuine and empathetic way. You also start to recognise that your audience is a lot less than you originally thought.
Find ways to meet people.
The reason I began YATM events in 2016 was to bring people together who subscribed to the newsletter. This was a more efficient way to spend time with people as a group. Whilst it can be a challenge as people have busy lives, always remember that there are people who want to meet you.
Keep on coming back to the overall theme and do the work.
When you are leading from the front and you have the enthusiasm to create and share, the people who commit slowly solidify into becoming the people you want to be with. The way you never run out of ideas is by coming back to the curiosity on a subject you know you cannot stop. This is where the whole effort becomes elevated in terms of progress, iterations, ideas and team spirit.
You can’t stop, you keep helping, you keep putting your stamp and welcome those who come around your campfire. Never stop building each other up. Never stop making introductions.
You Push Each Other To Become Better
Being with the right crowd of people where there is reciprocity and encouragement means you push each other to be better where you build on ideas.
What happens is that more opportunities open, that give you more energy and take you to a higher level.
When I started I was putting a lot of energy and effort into initiatives that didn’t work. This was because the pieces didn’t connect and people could not see the overall thinking and simplicity of an idea.
Then It Becomes A New Level Of Fun
It’s similar to building a den in the woods when you were a kid with your friends.
You don’t care about what happened before or what will happen in the future. You just want to build the coolest den with what you have and the plentiful resources around you.
You want to make it bigger, studier, more colourful and not stop. If the den starts to fall apart, you laugh, you start again and you keep going.
When you are with the right people where there is support all around it becomes contagious. The values, expectations and standards become magnified. This influences the bar for achievement, for everyone.
The difference between the people who will never reciprocate and those who support comes down to the value that people know they are receiving. From you, curiosity encourages expertise.
Over time, it becomes a collective effort where opportunities are elevated, everyone succeeds, it becomes fun and friendships grow.
YATM was born from the desire to connect with like-minded people. Today, a thriving space has formed, fostering accountability and camaraderie.
You want to surround yourself with people who will support you. You can try your hardest trying to please strangers, or you understand you can reach your full potential when you surround yourself with supportive and positive people.
Over time, embrace the power of your community and always champion those around you. Guide new members towards connections that resonate, amplifying the strength of the space you create together. You’ll unlock abundant opportunities, ensuring a joyous journey for all.