The Real Reason People Show Up (It’s Not About You)

There’s a reason people don’t show up to events, it’s not because they’re lazy or disengaged.

It’s because they don’t have to.

It is much easier for us to stay in and manage our days. The work will always be there.

We can consume content on our own terms. Why leave home when you can click to be a part of a webinar? We can get the information we need from podcasts, videos and the newsletters we subscribe to. We can scroll through the highlights on social and not leave the sofa. 

Why go out when everything can come to you?

This means one thing for anyone running events, if people are going to leave the house/office, spend money, or set time aside, it has to be worth it.

They need to feel that what they’ll gain can’t be found anywhere else.

That’s exactly the challenge and opportunity. I learned this the hard way over the years. When people aren’t familiar with the format of what you want to achieve, that isn’t what they can already connect with, it takes longer. However, when they understand and people can see the work, the fun and what they can feel a part of, it elevates the entire experience.

It’s not about FOMO (fear of missing out), it’s a willingness to want to join in because it feels right and people know what they are stepping into.

Five years ago, it felt like getting people to attend an event was a matter of good promotion:

Create a clear message.

Make the timing right.

Promote it enough.

Remind people to come.

Those things still matter, but they’re just the starting line today.

Today, we’re dealing with something more fundamental, people’s willingness to give up time they can’t get back. That is a huge ask for anyone.

So what tips the scale? I’m sharing this from delivering events since 2016 and now getting to a place where I know what we need to do.

It’s not just information, or the slant to networking, the swag or the free perks. 

What tips the scale is an experience that feels unrepeatable, honest and intimate. It’s something that cannot be fully appreciated while staying at home or living a life online.

The most important thing is deciding to be part of something that feels meaningful.

People attend an event when it offers one or both of these outcomes:

Knowledge gained: They walk away feeling smarter, sharper, a new idea or more prepared.

Friendship formed: They leave feeling deeper connection, being seen, or supported.

That’s it. That’s what the best events deliver.

You can’t download that. You can’t get it from a livestream. You can’t simulate it through a comments section or a Zoom room.

Real events offer something irreplaceable: the moment you were there, and you’re glad you were.

Matt Desmier puts this across well, “Create a space people feel comfortable, amongst friends or full of people they want or ought to meet. 

Give them something extra. Make them smile. Feed them something better than stale sandwiches. Involve them.”

For instance, at a recent event, in collaboration with Bournemouth University, we closed it with a tug of war, on the street.

You want people to leave grinning. Enthused and eager to tell people about their experience. Excited to come back next time.

The YATM Lunch Clubs return this September. We’re back in London on the 4th and Poole on the 11th. It’s a reset and clarity on what these events stand for.

Our learning year starts in September and it goes to April, for Creator Day.

It’s not a networking event, but it’s still work.

Over the years this format has changed. In the early days of Lunch Club, the focus was entirely on the expertise and insights of a guest related to a marketing discipline.

It was quite chaotic when it all started, that was because it was all new, not just for everyone, but for me too. Peak audience was December 2019 when 120 people headed to Shelley Theatre for lunch and Gordon Fong sharing what it takes to feel at home.

Today, Lunch Club represents learning from each other around topics that are relatable to people fighting their corners. We purposely don’t cover marketing specifics ie. SEO, email marketing, PR, ChatGPT, as you can easily find that information online without needing to seek it out in person. Instead, we explore themes related to staying relevant and fostering a shared community.

September starts in London with ‘curiosity’ and then off to Poole for ‘being genuine.’ In both locations, food that brings people together. We sit together, we eat together, we figure it all out as a team.

When it all starts to connect to the wider world of YATM and not as one off events, that is why we’re heading into 10 years of Lunch Clubs. They’ve just changed and adapted over the years because they’ve had to or we’ll just stand still and fade out.

If you’re thinking about how to bring people together, here’s a framework that might help when it comes to people choosing you:

The 3 I’s of Events People Choose

Invitation

This is not about mass promotion. Make it personal. People don’t want to be part of a crowd, they want to be part of a circle. If you invite someone specifically, they’re more likely to show up. It tells them, “This is for you.” I have found that direct outreach has a greater return than continual posting.

Intention

Be clear about what you are delivering, what someone is going to get from it and be honest. If you want it be about more conversations, make sure you’re clear about that. If it’s about creativity, spark that in the invite. Set the tone so people arrive already feeling like they belong.

Impact

Ask yourself: ‘What will people leave with that they didn’t arrive with?’ A new idea? A new friend? A new sense of direction? A good conversation? Don’t overpromise with the 10x your business rhetoric, focus on delivering something that is going to stick and is achievable for you and for the people attending.

No one has to come, but that’s the whole point.

So much today is about competing for attention, but very few compete for care.

The question isn’t “How do I get more signups?,” it’s “How do I make this feel like time well spent?”

When you stop thinking like a promoter and begin to think like a host, everything changes.

You think less about turnout and more about tone. You think less about selling out and more about making it matter.

When you get that right, people don’t just show up, they choose to. They lean in. They ask questions. They tell others. They remember how it felt.

When you create something real, people will not only show up, they will also want to be a part of it.

Love you to join in with us when we start the new YATM year after the summer hols.

You’ve got a seat at the table that is waiting for you.

September 4th – London, The Almer, Wandsworth. Curiosity book here

September 11th – Poole, La Mias. Being Genuine book here

The best events aren’t about information overload or forced connection. They’re about creating something worth showing up for. We do this together.